I've had bad roommates. I've had terrible roommates. And looking back at every bad situation, the warning signs were always there. I just ignored them because I needed a place to live and I was optimistic. Optimism is expensive when it comes to roommates.
Here are the red flags I've learned to spot. I ignored six of these at various points. Don't be me.
**1. They're "between jobs" with no plan.** Everyone hits hard times. But "between jobs" for six months with no interviews is not a temporary situation. It's a lifestyle.
**2. They trash-talk their previous roommates.** If every ex-roommate was "crazy" or "impossible to live with," the common denominator is them. Run.
**3. They won't sign a roommate agreement.** If someone won't commit to basic rules in writing, they don't plan to follow them. This is non-negotiable.
**4. Their current apartment is a disaster during the interview.** If they didn't clean for a potential roommate interview, they will never clean. Ever.
**5. They're vague about money.** "Oh I'll figure it out" is not a financial plan. "My parents usually help" is not a financial plan. You need someone who knows exactly how they're paying rent.
**6. They have a history of short-term rentals.** If someone has lived in four places in two years, they're either unlucky or the problem. The odds favor the second one.
**7. They want to move in immediately.** Urgency is a red flag. Good roommates plan ahead. Desperate roommates make desperate decisions.
**8. They're overly charming in the interview.** The best roommates are slightly awkward in interviews because they're normal people. The worst roommates are salespeople selling you a fantasy.
**9. They don't ask you any questions.** A good roommate interview is mutual. If they're not asking about your schedule, your habits, or your expectations, they don't care about compatibility.
**10. They have a substance use issue they're not addressing.** I'm not judging recreational use. I'm judging "I need this to function and I'm not dealing with it." That affects rent, cleaning, noise, and safety.
**11. They're emotionally volatile.** If they get angry about small things during the interview, imagine how they'll react when you ask them to do the dishes.
**12. They don't respect your boundaries in the interview.** If they walk into your room without asking during a tour, they will do it when you're not home.
**13. They have no references.** Everyone has lived with someone. If they can't provide a single previous roommate reference, ask why.
**14. They're overly attached to their significant other.** If their partner is at the interview and answering questions for them, that partner is going to be a de facto roommate.
**15. Your gut says no.** This is the most important one. If something feels off, it's off. Your subconscious picks up on micro-expressions and inconsistencies that your conscious mind misses. Trust it.
I've ignored red flags because I was desperate, because I was lonely, because the apartment was perfect and I thought the roommate would "grow on me." They didn't. Bad roommates don't get better. They get worse. Because once the lease is signed, the incentive to be on good behavior disappears.
If you're interviewing roommates right now and you see any of these flags, walk away. There will be other apartments. There will be other roommates. But there won't be other security deposits if you lose this one to a bad situation.